Taxi Talk

This is a series of interviews with local Cab and Shuttle drivers.

Cabbys Name:
Tyrone Lathaniel Marquis Beverly

What makes your cab unique?
Man, my cab has swagger. I take pride in the appearance of her because she’s my girlfriend on four wheels. I keep her looking good on the outside and filled up on the inside. I take care of her and she takes care of me. Some drivers treat their cars like a slab of metal on four wheels. I treat mine like slab of baby-back ribs on a hot plate with all the trimmings, and she’s slap-yo-mamma good!

What do you like best about your job?
I like the freedom to roam around all over the place and see the different areas of San Diego County that most people miss. Everybody knows about the Gaslamp or Mission Beach, but did you know about more cultural spots like Fam-Mart off of Euclid or Mario’s in Lemon Grove where you can buy everything from gator boots and SD socks to gold grills and Zoot suits?

What other jobs have you had?
I used to operate a mobile barbecue pit where I’d go to the local parks on the weekends to sell food at Pop Warner and Little League games. $5 for a plate of BBQ chicken and pork ribs and potato salad. Have you ever had collared greens? Probably not. You look more like a turkey sandwich and low-fat potato chips kind of guy. I make the best greens this side of the Mississippi and I’m not talkin’ about that green rim around your shirt collar either playboy.

What do you least like about your job?
You got to tip me! You don’t go to a restaurant and leave without tipping the waiter. How are you going to have me wait around for you to give Kibbles the kitty one last scoop of Fancy Feast and not tickle my palm with a little bit of change. Take care of your karma and tip your cabby, man!

What’s a typical shift like?
It’s like any job man. You clock in and you clock out. Everything in between is an adventure. I mean, every day brings something new. Sometimes I’m non-stop with fare after fare and other days I catch a little cat nap on my lunches because the day just drags on. Nights are the best. When your happy hour turns into happy ending, let me be your designated driver and save yourself the embarrassment of a DUI or worse.

We bet you’ve met some interesting people. Who have you driven around?
One time I had Fortune Teller lady in my car.  She kept telling me every turn before I was even going to make it. “I see that you’re going to change lanes.” “I’m seeing traffic in our future.” I’m like, look lady unless you’re going to give a brotha’ some lotto picks, a park where they’re serving up free lunch, or you see a big tip in my future, sit back relax and let me drive this mutha’!

What’s your most bizarre passenger request?
Some lady wanted to bring her pets with her in the ride. I can’t believe I let her 2 cats and hamster in my baby, but I needed the fare, so I obliged. Next thing I knew, I had Scooter the blind cat crawling between my legs, and Tin Tin her deaf cat climbing up my head rest. I’m yelling at Tin Tin to sit his tail down, but he can’t hear me.  Scooter is thinking my floor mats are litter box and left a little Charleston steamer on the passenger side. It was like Downtown Beirut in there, a warzone. I pulled over at a transit station and made her get out. She had the nerve to ask me for some bus fare. Woman please!

What unexpected things have you overheard?
I overheard this business man having two conversations on his phone once. He had his girlfriend on one line and his wife on the other. Instead of hanging up with one of them he tried to click back and forth on the lines, and juggle the conversations. He ended up talking dirty to his wife and asking his girlfriend to pick up some cocoa butter and waffle syrup from the store. I think he is divorced and single now. Note to self: your phone has voicemail for a reason.

Has someone had sex in your cab?
The only one getting freaky in my ride is yours truly. There will be no shaggin’ in my cabin!

Any complaints to the city about restrictions or laws that you’d like changed about cabs or shuttles?
Are you FBI? You’re trying to make me out to be an informant. You’re making me nervous with all of these questions. I’ll pass on that question and plead the 5th. Our government says that 10% unemployment is acceptable to 90% of the population. I’m trying to stay in that 90%.

What are the most annoying things that passengers do or say?
Dumb questions. They ask, “Can you take me to…?” Yah, I could take you there, but you know what I’d rather just take you to Walmart because I have to pick up some q-tips. Can I put them on your card?

What’s the biggest tip you received and what’d it entail?
The biggest tip I received was $100 bill. The guy was drunk coming from downtown and had 2 girls with him. I told him it was a Benjamin and not a Hamilton and the girls were so impressed that he let me keep it. Stupid! Here’s a tip for you…stop buying cologne at the mall fragrance booths. They’re knock-offs and that sure ain’t CoolWater you have on!

Strangest thing left behind?
A gentleman left some lipstick, fingernail paint and a screwdriver in the backseat. I’m no mathematician, but the numbers didn’t add up to me either.

Any last words?

Celebrate Juneteenth with some smothered BBQ ribs, cornbread, collared greens, a few drinks good times with family and a prayer for our Mexican-American citizens in Arizona. Catch a cab home instead of driving and don’t forget to save me a hot plate!