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ThePPChronicles

Inside the life of The Professional Partier.

Happy New Year everyone, hard to believe it’s 2011 - and it’s hard to believe it’s been more than a decade since Y2k! Damn, we’ve been having fun and I’ve been on a boat.

There were no $100 hotel parties with $15 well drinks from me this New Year. I didn’t’ want to throw elbows with the riffraff downtown, no road trips to Lake Tahoe or Las Vegas - just celebrated at a low key house party with friends. Of course this wasn’t some couple’s Bunco night either. Although I never like those masked parties, this one had a Masquerade Mardi Gras theme with a DJ and open bar.

A friend from college just moved to the beach with his wife, and was throwing the bash in their new house up the street from the Yacht Club.

Since I spent three hours naked in their spa after one of those “$100 ticket hotel parties” on New Year’s Eve last year, I figured they would pull out the stops for a good time. Not to mention my roommate and her friend and were going, so I was already looking at a good ratio.

(And I’m serious about the naked people in the Jacuzzi thing, I mean I practically had webbed feet when I stepped out of the hot tub at 5am last year.)

After finally getting off work at 7pm, my roommate and her friend were already starting to pre-party, so I poured a shower cocktail to loosen up the night while I got ready.

New Year’s is one of those nights were you have to have a lot of supplies, and I’m not just talking about the cufflinks on my shirt - you need cigars, breath mints, eye drops, a lighter and, of course booze. Quick trip to the liquor store down the street and you could feel the New Year’s energy. I flagged a cab, gave him a $20 pointing to my house and asked him to pick me up in an hour.

(It’s always amuses me when someone is complaining about not being able to call a cab on New Year’s Eve. Of course the line is going to be busy! 10,000 people are trying to call one of five companies looking for a ride in the same two-hour window as you are.)

Given that I slammed a 40oz of Mickey’s and Red Bull, it was a little tough to recognize my friends at first, but it was raging. Furniture cleared out, dance floor in the living room and a bartender pouring drinks behind the bar.

A huge advantage going to a house party was that I didn’t wait for one cocktail. This was a complete 180◦ from last year when you had to wait in a line to buy drink tickets and then wait in a longer line to get the drink. Then there was the hot tub flash back – the top was open and the jets were going. There were bath robes and folded towels waiting for some ‘blacked out’ chick to fall in and magically rise with pasties on.

Happy New Year!

I was on a boat for most of the night cutting up some rug on the dance floor, when my roommate and her friend started getting sloppy. These Party Girls were faded, chewing on their lips without any clue what was going on.

I take the girls to a back bathroom and of course the friend ends up projectile vomiting all over a bedroom at the new house. I don’t know what that girl had to eat, but it was nasty. The host’s wife came up screaming, and the next thing I’m doing is cleaning up puke.

It was getting ugly and it was time for me to get out of here. I already had a designated driver set aside, but luckily a friend showed up from some formal party and hadn’t been drinking. Huge! I landed a ride back to the beach and it was even from a driver wearing a tuxedo - only on New Year’s Eve!

It was fuzzy, but I think actually passed out at a decent hour - especially considering how many times I watched the sunrise during my college days. With New Year’s Day off work, the sun was out and we woke up and started doing it all again.

Having been to the (Guess This Bar on my twitter page) last year on New Year’s Day, I knew that place was going to go off. There’s just something rejuvenating about the beach, the waves and the sense of renewal a New Year provides.

We were briefly delayed when I had to pull a splinter out of my roommates foot, but we hit the scene at noon knowing early arrival is a must for an upstairs table.

A proper meal is also an annual New Year’s tradition. There is nothing like Prime Rib, an Oyster Bar, Crab Legs and an Omelet Station Buffet to soak up the booze from the night before.

It was awesome! A steady parade of pretty people were wearing the same clothes from the night before, and in no time it was a daytime rave with girls dancing on chairs, and at least half the crowd was still powering through the day without any sleep. Sunglasses were a must and drunk hotties were everywhere.

The White Russians, Bloody Marys and Mimosas were flowing. I learned what a Colorado Bulldog was -it’s good to try something new every year. Yes, life in So. Cal is good.

By 2pm it was a pretty much a shitshow upstairs. It could have been the DJ, the ocean views or just the New Year’s vibe, but it got me thinking about the Happy Hour Magazine lifestyle.

It’s the So. Cal DNA to have fun while learning from all the crazy stuff we’ve witnessed over the years and chronicling the wild events you’re going to experience this year. But mainly, it’s about having the wherewithal to party smarter and party harder than last year.

Welcome to the column. Toast one up for your boy!

For Happy Hour scoop and lifestyle updates, you can follow the Professional Partier on twitter @TheProPartier